If the animals could talk

Если бы животные умели говорить

On a big scale, who cares about the whale?
I'll never see one anyway or listen to the tales.
In the grand scheme, hey what's another cow?
Just another piece of meat to me anyhow.

If the animals could talk, they'd be cursing my name,
I'd be getting death threats if they could write.
If the animals could shoot I'd be hanging off a wall,
They'd be getting me first so I gotta get 'em all!

On a sad note , I wouldn't want to be a seal
My anniversary's coming up the mall has got a steal.
On a fur coat that's a 100 percent real,
Throw in that leather handbag, you've got yourself a deal